I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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