How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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