what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
