Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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