she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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