anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize