Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this beer tastes like vomit already
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
