she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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