We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
