so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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