What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
