so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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