I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
