I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
