Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
