I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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