It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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