i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
