I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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