hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
