I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
