Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
