So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
