It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
