i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Randomize
