he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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