Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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