...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
