That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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