Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
