I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
