is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
