Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
