Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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