So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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