Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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