i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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