Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
