I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
a search helicopter?!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
