I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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