He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
