ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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