It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
