their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
