Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
