Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My ATM looks so different sober.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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