dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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