also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You can't motorboat a personality
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
