3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
