Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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